The last two years or so have been an emotional roller coaster and while I was thinking about how it would end, I thought I would feel crushed, crying, losing my appetite, and things like those but I am glad to come out whole, content, knowing that happiness will come with time. I’m not sad. Granted I may wake up next week and miss him like crazy, but I know that this is the best thing for the both of us. Since I know that there are people out there who feel tied in relationships, I am here to tell you that YOU WILL BE FINE. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM OR HER. YOU WILL PROSPER, and YOU DESERVE BETTER!! If you don’t take anything else away from this, let the previous line be the one thing you carry with you.
There were times when I would look at my significant other and wonder why I tolerate the shit he pulls (excuse my language). Other times we were so happy that I thought he was as good as it would get. Love isn’t blind, love in this case wasn’t holding me back. It was the fear of loneliness, the fear that no one else would give me their time like he did, no one cares about who I am or my story. No one wants to be alone, but sometimes you have to be in order to gain perspective. Maybe we will both grow up a little and one day down the road we can mend things and build together again but for now, I think this is best.
I think that most people benefit from constant encouragement, constant reinforcement. As the memes of Facebook and Instagram say, “don’t stop doing what you did to get her after you have her.” That is a valid point, if you took her out to dinner every Friday, or told her she was beautiful every day, or listened when she talked to you in order for her to be as infatuated as she is with you now, don’t grow lazy and think that because she is now yours, you can stop doing all those things and turn into an asshole with no gratitude towards having her in your life. That is the worst thing you can do because then she will feel devalued, and her self esteem may drop, and no queen should be made to feel that way.
Appreciate your loved ones ALWAYS. Realize that everyone who relates with you is making compromises and sacrifices whether it be with time, money, or even an ear to listen. I like to forgive because it frees me of a heavy heart. I don’t like to hold grudges because that doesn’t get you anywhere. Sometimes its good to realize that just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them.
It will take a little adjusting to keep reminding myself not to call him to tell him a corny joke that I know only he would laugh at, but all it will take is time.
I hope you guys enjoy reading this little snippet of what is going on my mind.
Thank you ♥